on the topic of suicide.

what doesn’t kill me
makes me stronger.

it’s something
i tell myself
when things go
wrong
as they usually do.

but when i close my eyes
and see you
josh
so empty of love
hope
or any other generic emotion
when i close my eyes
and see what i imagine
to be your face
twelve years ago
crushed by
the presence of
nothing

the rope in your hand
don’t think
just do
swig
tie
jump

when i close my eyes
and see your face
hannah
a shadow of the woman
you were destined to
become
when i close my eyes
and see a pink prom dress
hanging desperately
in a wardrobe
as forgotten
as you felt
that night
last february

don’t think
just do
swig
swallow
recline

i realise
that no matter
how angry i feel
or how much
sadness
i carry inside me

that i have never wanted
to stop
tie
swig
swallow
recline
jump
cut

and that i
am one
of the
lucky
ones.

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2 responses to “on the topic of suicide.

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