news.

there are a thousand
and one cliches
that you could use to describe
the situation
that went down yesterday.

“i never thought
it would happen to me”
is my particular favourite

for eventualities like this.

or perhaps
you prefer
“life will bite you
on the arse”, because
this –

this –

is all down to me.

history
has its own way of defining
who you are –
of shaping you into
some kind of person,
a being
treading the earth

we’re all just
bags of air, experience
and trauma

after all.

i’d only just got used
to the idea;
i never thought i’d say that.

i couldn’t tell you
because then you’d know –
and people judge
what they can’t understand.

i don’t get it myself
i feel it’s a punishment
for all i’ve done wrong –

but really,
i’m a good person.

i promise.

i looked to a day
with you
where the feet
were plentiful –

two
four
six
eight

pipe dream.
it’s fate,
they say.

fuck that.
i made it this way.